broadwaydivac

bits & pieces

2011-09-05T19:20:00.006-04:00

Bits & Pieces: CHANGE

I've learned a lot about myself over the last few months. It's amazing that God can grow you even when you think you've got it all figured out...all the puzzle pieces fit perfectly where you want them, each in their perfect tiny chosen spots. All is well with the world, until you hear the rippling winds of inevitable change. There are times when you are forced to go through a change and I've been heavily hurled through the ring of change lately.

I understand that people aren't meant to carry my hurt...or anyone else's for that matter because, let's be honest, it's enough for just one to carry, but let alone adding the burden to other's...it just gets to be a hot mess.

So, in that understanding, I've also let go of wondering why some don't get me...that I strive to be loving, attempt often to be all-giving, loyal, and accepting. Trust me, I'm not trying to win anyone's accolades here, but I have gained, over time, an understanding heart that I'm glad God could help grow me into...

When someone doesn't value you or seem to get your feelings, or your cries for help, pray for them, talk to them, but then...move on instead of setting your heart up to get split open once more. Sure it hurts, it rips deeply into your soul, tears are shed, but discernment is a great friend.

Losing my aunt has been heart wrenching. Remembering her, as she was, makes it even more difficult to process. She was often more of a mother to me than an aunt. She was the one who accompanied me to Atlanta airport to pick up Jason for the first time, the one who encouraged my singing, loved me unconditionally, sang like an angel, shot out bath and body works lotion into my nostrils at the mall...I could go on and on. Knowing you can't call someone, can't hear their voice is just a curse on certain days, those days that you yearn for their input. But, then I find that beautiful solace in the Lord and that sweet peace that passes understanding...

Bits & Pieces: MINISTRY

Is the church a family or a separate entity in direct competition with one another? It's one of the most sad things to me that it sways to the latter option. Belief in God is considered foundational to faith and a faith-filled life is the only way that anyone can please God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. -Hebrews 11:6. The Bible clearly states that everyone will one day proclaim that Jesus is Lord. This will bring glory to God, the Father. This confession is understood to imply that there is, as God first proclaimed, no other god beside him.

9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father. -Philippians 2:9-11.

Recently, my pastor gave us the opportunity to sign up for a ministry area if we felt the calling on our lives to do so...the first round, in my mind, is to get us involved with the ministries already being in existence. I signed up to help with the high school kids. I can't WAIT to see what God has in store with that and helping out photography-wise in the church.

It's SO vital to be IN the ministry AND a people-person btw. Can you really have one without the other? It's sad when my atheist husband out-pours more attention, love, and understanding than churched folks! Amen? And the people shouted...

Bits and Pieces: MOLDING

Touched on earlier, the amazement that God still grows me, especially in times when I think I'm done, is purely glorious. I serve an awesome God, One that loves us TRULY where we are. If we strive to be more Christ-like, we truly should open our arms, our lives to this world...and continue to accept His guidance in placement of the out of place puzzle pieces <3

Run Tell DAT!

2011-01-31T15:28:00.003-05:00

I think one of the most awesomely beautiful things about having a relationship with God is that He can continue growing you IF you let Him. Just when we think we're too big for our own pants, we discover how unbelievably wrong we were. I often discover how corrupt, rotten to the bone, and truly unworthy I am of His saving grace. But, that’s the beauty of God. He LOVES me where I am. Through that realization though comes REVELATION. I have had a lot of time to think lately since the hubby and I (well, mostly him) have been sprucing up the house.

Wow, I’ve realized I have a LOT of STUFF. Stuff that has clogged up my own so-called décor style. So, I’m downsizing. Getting rid of the clutter. And, it’s GREAT!

What I’ve realized through this so far is that, we as a nation especially, are SO in over our heads. Not only with debt, but THINGS. Possessions. Clutter.

How many milk glass vases can I have? Apparently, 15. Yes, I said FIFTEEN.

About 2 years ago, I started begging Jason to go house hunting because we didn’t have our “dream home”. I wanted it to be just like I wanted it to be…stainless steel appliances, hardwood throughout, charming, clawfoot tub in at least ONE bathroom, etc. When we started looking, we quickly discovered that everything seemed to be out of our budget or too big of a hot mess to take on at the time. I told God in my prayer time that I couldn’t understand why I should feel so bad for wanting a nice home, a nice place to kick off my shoes and start a family in soon.

Here’s what I learned…

What I have is a home. It’s where your heart is…it’s where your family is…it’s not self indulging. When I look back on my house hunting days, I realize how selfish I was and how UNHAPPY I was with what God had blessed me with already. I know He wants increase for us, but at the same time, He calls for us to be more Christ-like. I’m not perfect by ANY means, but the lesson I’ve learned is that I am beyond blessed to have a roof over my head and the ability to take up some old carpet to put down hardwood laminate.

Now I know, I’d rather pay off my debts first and not be a slave to any one or any company.

I’ve also learned to downsize in other areas such as cosmetics! That’s right. I’m a Sephora addict. I take that back. I WAS a Sephora addict. Now, I still get giddy when I get a new ad in the mailbox, but I know too that I have 87 different lipglosses to choose from and I don’t need to “treat myself to just this one thing” because I deserve it.

I don’t need to “treat myself to just this one thing” because it’s 50% off. Here’s why:

#1. We probably don’t need it. Yeah, I’m talking to you too. Whatever you’re obsessed with that will make yourself look better or more accomplished or just to feel better. Trust! It IS a high for me to shop.
#2. Do you already have it??? Do you? Seriously, a new pair of heels? You have them already.
#3. What could you do with that money to better serve this world? Give to the humane society, help the church with a new endeavor, sacrifice for someone other than yourself? SAVE the money for your future?
#4. God don’t like greedy. Trust. God’s working on me with this. I’ve made promises to Him that I intend to keep concerning debt & giving. It’s a hard road to travel, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that He knows my heart.

Jesus warned, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15). “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal… You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:19 and 24). Did Jesus pursue the acquisition of money? No. On the contrary, He became poor for our sake (2 Corinthians 8:9) and had “no place to lay his head” (Matthew 8:20).

So, that new car that you need because it’s cute…no you don’t. Is your’s still running? Okay then, you’re MORE than fine. You’re blessed. This nation is blessed and we take life for granted every second of just about every day.

Be thankful for what you have now. Look at the person that you pass in Atlanta asking for a handout…ask yourself later, when you’re at Cheesecake Factory if you should have maybe given him that $5.

Run tell DAT!

A Week

2010-10-22T23:19:00.006-04:00

It's been a week today...actually, 13 minutes ago from the time I am starting to type these words. I'm so tremendously thankful that Jason's on the road to improvement.

God, I praise You not only in the good, but in the storms...and in those storms, You have such a beautiful way of producing such beauty still...You're amazing.

Oh yeah, while I took the update pictures, I realized I look like Elphaba in my green mask. Hmmmm...Halloween costume?

Jason Hearts Puffy Socks

2010-10-17T23:10:00.018-04:00

I had an interesting weekend to say the least. We went to the Valley High football game Friday night. After Valley was up 30 something to 0 at halftime, we went ahead and left for home. On the way home, I called in some yummy Waffle House. We stopped by Video Warehouse and rent three movies. Jason kept talking about wanting to go hunting in the morning because it was opening day of rifle season in Georgia. He said that he wanted to get some good sleep, but he needed to clean all his guns.

Jason’s always in a hurry. He eats fast because working for a surveying company, you learn to eat quickly and live out of a truck. When we get home, I complain because he begins to bring all his gun “things” into the living room.

Back at the ranch, Bill Maher, one of his favorites, was coming on. It was 11 p.m. I remember feeling yucky because I was eating Waffle House at such a late time, but then again, isn’t Waffle House so much better late into the night?

I remember telling Jason, “Oh yay! My boyfriend John Legend is on Bill Maher!” He was focused on his gun stuff though and didn’t really comment. All I remember next is my head buzzing and looking back on it, seemingly slow motion as I discovered what had just happened.

I couldn’t hear. I don’t know how long, but it seemed like a while. I figured out that Jason was yelling at me to call 9-1-1. At that point, thinking how I couldn’t hear, I figured he had accidentally shot me and that’s why I couldn’t hear. I was sitting about 5 feet away from him on the love seat while he was on the couch. Then I saw blood. At the time, a drop would seem like a gallon to me. I remember it being on the floor, but not even worrying about the carpet. Jason was screaming for me to grab something to stop the blood. Leave it to me….I grabbed a…

Dish towel.

I did. I grabbed a dish towel. He said, with some expletives, that the dish towel would not work. I grabbed a bath towel and leaned down to him to help. But then he said we needed to make a tourniquet and to get his belt. So, I located a belt and he wrapped it around his leg.

Oh yeah, during my running around, I was on the phone with 9-1-1 screaming that my husband had shot himself accidentally while cleaning his …glock. Yes, it was his glock. Okay, I don’t know a lot about guns, but I knew he wasn’t going hunting with a glock. But, it just so happened that while he was gathering all that gun stuff, he figured he should clean this one as well.

A glock sucks in my humble opinion as of 11:06 p.m. et Friday October 15, 2010. I learned that disassembling and cleaning it means that the trigger has to be pulled. What Jason didn’t realize was that the magazine that he was looking at IN his case wasn’t the only one; he had TWO for this gun. When he looked in the chamber, there was nothing there. What he didn’t know was that there was a magazine in the gun. His speedy gun cleaning had now turned into our worst nightmare.

A 9 mm hydro shock hollow point plus P (I have no idea if this net out of verbiage is correct…LOL) entered my husband’s inner thigh, out the other side and into our leather couch.

Everything else is bit of a blur to me. I did call my mom and apparently told her that Jason had shot himself. Not clarifying that it was an accident til later. I laugh now looking back on that. I called my neighbor after 9-1-1 because I knew I needed people around me. We have the best neighbors in the world.
One thing we learned is that the ambulance/EMT’s can’t come “to” the house until the police arrive. While I understand the policy, in our scenario, it sucked! We heard the ambulance about ten minutes before the police arrived and they parked a few houses down. Really?!

I called 9-1-1 back not knowing the policy and screamed that they were at the wrong house and surely they had figured that out by now. I told them who my dad was as well and asked if they could get in touch with him. I had no idea if he was on duty, but I couldn’t get service on my blackberry at this point.

I’ll break the next scary moments down in a few short sentences:
I rode in the front of the ambulance.
I watched Jason shaking on the stretcher like a horror movie victim which scared me though I had the fire chief and the EMT driving say that it was just his adrenaline compensating for blood loss, etc.
I tried numerous times to call people, but my blackberry was toast. It wouldn’t work until we were nearly at EAMC.

At the hospital, there were apparently 2 specialists waiting to examine Jason’s condition before leaving for the evening. Praise GOD ALMIGHTY that he missed the femoral artery (though we were pretty sure that was missed because the blood loss wasn’t massive). No bone was touched. Praise GOD! There could be nerve damage and the bullet made its way through the muscle. And, there is shrapnel as well, but after we saw what will become Jason’s good dr friend (I sure hope…bc good dr friend looks JUST like Jason Bateman…and yes, I was checking the dr out after Jason was in the “safe zone”.) Dr. Foster, he stated that he’s not concerned with the shrapnel. Oh, also (sorry I stink at telling stories), the Dr. said he wouldn’t have used staples, but that of course he couldn’t “undo” that now. Jason has crutches too-they suck. Jason and the crutches are not friends.

As I sat there with Jason, I realized that he truly is the love of my life. Not that I didn’t know that before, but the situation puts things into perspective. I love this man so much that it can’t be measured. I know that’s normal for you to say if you’re in a happy marriage, but I really can’t fully express what he is to me. He’s the most intelligent man I know…most handsome…his sweet moments compensate for all the times he’s not Mr. Touchy Feely. He can do anything…I mean anything. From baking me THE most beautiful Hello Kitty cake to designing his own crown molding, answering strange questions (at least to me) on Jeopardy, to making his own camera remote to take pictures so he didn’t have to buy one…I mean C’MON! To me, feeling how much I love him leads me to the pure beautiful knowledge that God paired us to be here on earth together.

I will keep everyone updated on his injury. Thank you again for your prayers, kind words, visits, and love. It has meant a lot to us for sure. Oh, and Jason if you ever read this, you owe me for cleaning your leg guts from the couch arm, wall, and dvd player.

Love,
Your Wife

P.S.
You KNOW I got pictures. WARNING: they can be considered gross, so if you’re a pansy, stop reading/looking NOW! You were warned :) I kept the super gross one's out...you're welcome!

some of the mess on the living room floor :(

Entry & Exit wounds (not too good of a job on the staples IMO)

The patient resting talking to friends and family after we got home Saturday afternoon...

What the bullet did to our couch.........
A fully intact bullet and the one that went through Jason's leg and couch...
He become quite a fan of these snuggle muffin socks in the hospital:
Stupid bullet.
His hand injury......

True Story

2010-06-22T16:12:00.004-04:00

This is the true story of my morning.

I got up at 7 a.m. (true story) so that I could get to my actual office AT work by 8 because I knew I was behind on a lot of follow up items.

Earlier in the early hours, I heard Jason get up and go watch t.v. I also observed that Trip was crying in his cage. This did not alarm me because
a.) he loves Jason more than his food which he literally eats within seconds
b.) he loves Jason more than smelling of Dixie (and my) butt
c.) SURELY Jason would pay attention to his beloved lab and
d.) my sleep was super good and I was having a really good dream about James McAvoy (okay not really, but wishful thinking may make this happen for me…sorry Jason)

Once I get up, I selflessly, like a good doggy mother, disregard my needs (great urge to urinate, brush my teeth, and clean the crust from my lazy eyes) and go take care of Dixie and Trip. I also subconsciously think that this is great practice for when I’m a mother to a human creation. I pat myself on the back lots of mornings for this selfless act of pure love. This is right before I curse at Trip for irritating me to no end.

I open his cage and TA DAAAAAAAAAAA…he suddenly ejects himself from the cage as if he were Pamela Anderson on Baywatch shaking her head in figure 8-type movements to rid of herself of ocean water. Except…it.wasn’t.ocean.water. IT was PEE! Pee, pee, pee, peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee all OVER the place. There’s PEE EVERYWHERE (see Bob Saget in Dumb and Dumberer for his version btw).

I quickly guide him to the front door to rid myself of this peeing piece of crap monster dog. How DARE I sacrifice my morning routine for you dog!

Have I mentioned I’m naked? Because I am. Well, I am. And somehow I forget this and open the front door to let him run free. He continues Pamela Anderson’ing from his cage to the front door and tracks the “stuff” on the carpet.

I realize I’m naked at some point. And I run to go throw clothes on quickly and efficiently. This action item consisted of me putting on a bathing suit cover-up, that isn’t very “covery”.

Pulling Trip’s cage out is a task in itself and he runs in once I open the front door and shakes again. Now, I’m ½ dressed and drenched in dog pee. Fun times.

Once the cage is in the back yard, I turn the hose pipe switch from sprinkler mode. Then, the cold water shoots out quickly into my eyeballs, nose, and mouth. This gets better I promise. I bend over to begin washing out the cage and realize that my cover-up is tucked into something…into an area…that’s all I’m saying. I’m just thankful my wonderful neighbor, Mr. Johnny, wasn’t outside. Or maybe he was and just knew not to scream, “CRYSTAL, YOUR BATHING SUIT COVER-UP IS TUCKED INTO YOUR CHEEKS!”

I gave Trip a shower and cursed him some more, then I showered (no, not with him). I’m clean now. And, I’ve completed most of my “to do” items. Does this mean I’m ready for motherhood? Wait, I’m naked again…
JUST KIDDING

He's back in

2009-11-24T11:39:00.006-05:00

Have you ever experienced a feeling of complete and utter chaos to the point to which you didn't know who to turn to? AND, on top of that, try to bury it along with other issues to promote the image that you're strong and unbreakable? Have you wondered what is going on in other people's minds because you're just not prioritizing life's curve balls the way they are...

I mean, I haven't felt that way or anything...TOTALLY joking. Since August 29th, when I lost my grandfather, I've been on a road full of changes and realizations. I thought I was going crazy. I thought no one could understand the feelings running through my mind. I felt at such a loss that I couldn't even put into words what I was experiencing. I felt like all of my leaves had been ripped away...my happiness was depleted.

I wanted to shake people and wake them up to what's actually important. But, I knew I couldn't do that for the sake of keeping my job and my own sanity. And, finally...I let a calm take the place of all the anxiety, darkness, and fear. I let God in.

I'm not saying it wasn't a process of getting there, but at the end of the day, "in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Psalm 56:11)

I see asking for help as a weak point, but now I realize that it's not. I'm responsible for me, no one else. And "me" is important!

I went to a doctor to see if there was anything they could help with concerning my anxiety. Yeah there was! Medication! I don't want to be one of "those" people who have to take medicine for panic attacks or anxiety. So, I have the bottle...at home, in the medicine cabinet, collecting dust, sitting pretty. I don't NEED medicine, so I figured that I needed someone to finally "get" my points, my ramblings if you will.

I went to a counselor. It was very therapeutic. She's also a Christian which really helped me. I know now that I wasn't crazy. What a superb release THAT was!

The amount of balls this juggler had up in the air was just too overwhelming. There were family discussions going on, stressful situations in each area of my life, nothing seemed to be going "right".

Change is inevitable. I know that. I embrace that. But, at the same time, we are allowed to fall off of our pedestals of perfection, or pedestals that other's have built for us.

I've always said that work wouldn't be my "life" and I felt for the last 4 or 5 months, that it was my life. I am very grateful to have my job. But, again, I don't want it to consume me like it has done lately. And, by no means is this job my "dream" job. It's just not...it's turned into something I had no idea it would turn into! My priorities have gotten straightened out a bit now. Does that make me less of an employee? Heck to the no! I love seeing my customer happy. But more importantly, it means that I've let God back in...it means that from these last few weeks, He's grown me even when I didn't know that is what He was doing. God can be veddy veddy sneaky, but He truly does work all things out for the good.

I love Him and I'm glad He's back in.

Technology Pockettt

2009-09-15T12:56:00.005-04:00

So, technology has evolved apparently and I have been eating dust. And rolling around in it and thumping dust boogers from my fingers.

Believe it or not though, I'm OKAY with not being completely nerdy or teched out. If my Granddaddy could get by on not having a computer all of his life, surely I can survive without knowing the difference between MP3 and MP4. Or, without having the newest phone gadget, application, bluetooth device, etc. I'm OKAY with living with what I already have at my fingertips.

Don't get me wrong...I love learning how to apply new processes, procedures, etc. But, I think we get so consumed with keeping up with the Job's (as in Steve Jobs) that we forget the small things. Heck, even kid toys are now uber sophisticated. What happened to just a normal Huggin's doll like I had in the 80's? Heck YEAH I know they're scarier than a monster hiding under your bed, but they were AWESOME to play with back then!

What about the toys of today? Some make an "attempt" at being "vintage" or glances at the earlier days, but seriously...Barbie’s best friend, Midge, was preggers and I'm sorry, but the baby bump was just all.too.scurry (that's right, scurryyy). Leave Barbie alone...

See how I avoided real computer technological advances discussion this whole time?

But, seriously. I want to make it in a world that seemed just fine like Granddaddy suggested...no t.v., time with one another, & reading the "good book".

I feel you

2009-09-14T15:56:00.004-04:00

I feel that my Granddaddy should have an entire blog dedicated to him.
I feel that the obituary was too short of an entry and should have been a supplement to the entire newspaper.
I feel that he should have had all of the flags in the America's lowered half staff to mark the event of his death.
I feel that he was the closest to perfection in a human on earth. Yes he had his flaws, but to me, even those are beautifully crafted memories of the man I miss so much.
I feel that everyone should be able to get by on what he got by on...
I feel that everyone should be as organized with trinkets, doodads, and thingamajigs as he was with his.
I feel that the love that was shared between he and my Grandmother was one for the movies...
I feel her pain, but can only imagine the magnitude of her heartache with over 57 years of marriage together.
I feel it's not fair, it's not right, it's not just...it wasn't my time for him God...it wasn't my time for him to go. But I recall his words to me over my 30 years promising where he & others would go if they believed in You.
I believe in You...but, this absolutely stinks knowing I can't feel him anymore.

I long to touch his hands...those sweet, rough, precious, beautifully strong hands. I'm so grateful that I took the time I did to study them. I remember them...I remember you. I'm so glad my eyes are the same as your's.

I want to continue your legacy of being good changes in people's lives. I want people to smile if they recall me when I leave this world.

I remember you...I rejoice in the things you taught me, especially about God. Where would I be without your influence, your touch, your love?

You exemplify a good and faithful servant. You exemplify love. When I sit in the chair that you kneeled on every night to pray, I feel your love. I feel your convictions. I feel full. I feel the might you had in your prayers for others.

I feel blessed.

Change? Really, this time? Are you sure?

2009-01-01T01:06:00.003-05:00

I'm sure this time I've got it right...I'm sure. With the beginning of the new year, we all tend to make promises to ourselves that we generally don't keep. I know I've done it...heck, I've even probably blogged about it before.

But, this time I'm sure. I have a plan of how to handle myself. I know what I like, what I don't like...and now, I know that it's okay. I know what music I enjoy, what people make me laugh, which person makes me wish I were in a different room...but, at the same time, joyful to be living life with the person regardless of their quirks, or mine.

I know what I have to change and that the new year doesn't usher that in simply because it's different. I know that though it's hard to just walk away from some things, that it's better in the end. I know that just because a prayer isn't answered the way I want it, doesn't mean it isn't simply a different answer.

Sometimes I get nervous when I see an open door...a glimpse of greatness. I realized recently that sometimes that open door isn't even the route you prayed for, so why get the good ol' panties in a wad? I'm sure now...

Sometimes I think I know what I want in certain areas of my life...but when I go back to "review" the accomplishments, I go down a different path. I know who I have to answer to at the end though. I'm sure now...

I know that materialism is something I struggle against. I know that overconsumption is more than an issue; it's pretty much a disease. But, it can be cured. And, again not just because it's a new year, but because the question has to be posed to one's self. Why? I'm sure now...

I know that just because my mother irritates me, that she's still my mama. She did more than give birth to me. She's an angel...a different one, but one just the same that hasn't yet discovered her wings. "Last night I saw you in my dreams. Now, I can't wait to go to sleep. Last night I saw you in my dreams. Now, I can't wait to go to sleep." I see these people in my life who've yet to discover their nobleness. I pray it's unveiled while I can still enjoy it. I'm sure now...

Proactiveness is good...mmm kay? I need more of it starting now. I know what to do, how to do it, who can help me get there, and who can deter me. I'm sure now...

I know who I am. Child of God.

God...it's me again...is there more?

2007-05-21T04:42:00.001-04:00

Because if there is, I ask you now for it.

I love you

More than this

2007-05-11T05:03:00.000-04:00

I have literally listened to Michael Buble's new CD three times through tonight.

I also applied for a Marketing job at the Fox Theatre in the ATL. Wishful thinking ;) I am beyond blessed to get the new job in Marketing here at InterCall. But, I know that with this promotion comes more in the future!

My dream city AND the most beautiful place I've ever been in and around.

Aghh...I completed my InterCall newletter on the Fuller Project & Justice Leak. Hopefully both articles will make it in this quarter. I LOVE writing. Here are BOTH articles but only a few pics here on the blog!

Justice Leak, a former InterCallian, may be our first nationally recognized celebrity if he continues on the road to success currently in front of him. I had the opportunity to ask Justice a few questions and here they are!

Justice, we hear that you are up to great things. Just recently, you were featured in a nationwide Verizon commercial. As a matter of fact, I was just "googling" for a music video, and your face appeared! I think it’s GREAT that you are a Bama boy and I’m sure that you will represent the state with charm, charisma, and talent. I understand that you have been featured in some indie films as well as some classic films like Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius starring Jim Caviezel. You also were a stand in for Matthew McConaughey in the movie “We Are Marshall”.
You have also been playing the character Holcomb Habersham in "Peachtree Battle" in Atlanta, GA. How is performing "live" different than filming your movies?

There is a palpable sense of electricity when you perform before a live audience. On a film set, yes, the crew and occasionally a handful of extras are there, but they each have jobs of their own to do. One of the jobs being to avoid interaction or actively engage me as the performing actor.

For instance, with the hilarious romp that is “Peachtree Battle”, my performance is energized and informed by when and how the audience audibly responds, a technical impossibility with its big screen counterpart.

I LOVE the all-encompassing art that is film. The mastery of all the arts; literature, photography, design, performance, and music. Its potential for long term impact in our generation is unequaled. But as a performer, the laborious and disconnected process of its creation tends to be more technical than the free-flowing arch of creation that live theatre allows.

You are a former InterCallian...What all did you do while you were here? What do you miss most about the company?

Oh wow… What can I say about InterCall? It’s been a huge part of my life, both me personally and half my family! I mean, let’s face it!

I worked at InterCall while I was working my way through school at Auburn. Classes during the day, working through the night. Not the most ideal situation, but I always felt lucky that InterCall was the company I got to work for.

I loved my time there and it really helped in coaxing me out of my proverbial “shell” that still lingered from my middle school days. I did near ‘bout everthin’! Expert Operator, Quality Assurance, Training, e-Commerce and was a Management Trainee. My favorite times were leading the “Big Calls” with thousands listening on the other end…hmmm. Interesting. I’ve never really thought about that before. Now I’m sort of doing the same thing, but I’m the one standing on that stage instead of the voice moderating behind the scenes. Crazy. Oh, and I LOVED the training department. I had a blast teaching and developing new classes and creative ways of getting people to learn and get excited about doing it. Again with the performing…weird. I guess the seeds were all starting to sprout and InterCall provided the right mix of Sun and Water I needed to grow…that sounds a little too much like a Hallmark Card, so I’ll move on.

What do I miss the most? The people. Definitely the people.

I’ve yet to work with so many people I sincerely cared about and had so much fun talking to. And Lord we talked about it ALL!

Please tell us about some of the projects you have been involved in recently.

Besides the Verizon Wireless ads I shot last month, I recently completed two of my biggest film projects to date in terms of my participation in them. I play the lead in both. I’ve lead films previously, but they were short films (under 20mins) and not to the production level of these last two.

One is an education comedy in true Ferris Bueller Style and the other is a deeply moving story of a young man’s journey to discover the truth behind a controversial procedure performed on him by his father. “Getting into College: The Movie!” is set for DVD release this summer and “I Am the Bluebird” will hit Film Festivals this Fall.

Just this week though I got the call I’ve been waiting 5 years to get. My agent informed me I had just been booked on Denzel Washington’s latest directorial piece entitled “The Great Debaters”. It stars Denzel as well as fellow Academy Award winning actor Forest Whitaker and is being produced by Harpo Films, Oprah Winfrey’s company. I’ve been walking on air since the full cast table read when as I was leaving I hear, “Mr. Leak!” only to turn around to Mr. Washington himself. He just wanted to go over a couple ideas he had for my character before our shoot in Boston later this summer.

By no means, do I feel “I’ve arrived”, but God knows it feels like I’m certainly on the right track!

What is your ultimate goal in your acting career?

Ultimate? Big word. It’s so final. Easy question with a difficult answer.

At this point my goals are the ones directly in front of me. Next one being to finally move into full time performance, without the “paying the bills” job that gets me through the dry spells. Each year it has gotten better. I acted for a total of six months last year.

As for ultimate? To be at a place where I’m not forced to consider money in taking on a project and instead can focus on selecting films that I want to do because I believe in the message or the people involved. The respect of my peers and of course no less than three really really huge houses. One for my sister’s family and my parents. So I guess that’s five then. Kidding!

What has been the biggest challenge?

Money. The acting part is fun. It can be difficult at times and unimaginably demanding, but the worst part is trying to make a name for yourself by taking low paid gigs and barely squeezing by month to month. While other guys my age are building a career, and family while putting stuff away for retirement. It’s a lonely road at times.

Would you ever want to be behind the camera? If so, to do what?

I already work behind the camera as an editor. In fact when my passion for film first began seven years ago, my cousin Dusty Mitchell (another former InterCallian) and I bought two cameras and an editing suite in order to open up our own production company. Even though we were self taught, we managed to get a lot of work.

Thus began my love affair with editing. Seven years later and the affair has only intensified. Editing and acting are my two great passions.

Who do you dream of working with most?

In terms of actors: Meryl Streep, Cate Blanchett, Johnny Depp, Judi Dench, Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening, and Jude Law to name a few.
As for directors: Baz Luhrmann, Mike Nichols, Steven Soderbergh and Clint Eastwood.

Who have you been most starstruck by?

My celebrity interactions have been somewhat limited thus far, but as the list grows, the idea that they are just people like me doing a J-O-B seems to just be reinforced. Though anytime you can start a sentence with, “This one time Matthew McConaughey and I…” or “Yeah, I know, Denzel Washington was telling me the other day…” it will inevitably catch the attention of everyone at the dinner table.
If you get sick of the Hollywood life, can you please come back to InterCall? Of Course! So long as I can be in the Training Department and lead the big calls! You know me…I’m a sucker for the spotlight.

Recently, InterCall employees have had the privilege of working closely with the Fuller Project organization. The Fuller Center for Housing is a Partner in the God Movement with friends who work to build affordable homes for people in need worldwide. The Fuller Center for Housing was born at Koinonia Farm in the spring of 2005. After 29 years of service to the poor through their founding and leadership of Habitat for Humanity, Millard and Linda Fuller realized that their gifts could best serve that well-established organization by supporting Habitat affiliates throughout the world and by drawing attention to deplorable housing conditions right in their own backyard.

The need for safe, affordable housing is great. The United Nations estimates that over a billion people around the world live in substandard housing. The Fullers founded Habitat for Humanity with the simple, if audacious, goal of eliminating poverty housing. The organization they founded and built has made remarkable progress towards that goal, providing decent homes for more than a million of the world’s poor. But that success is dwarfed by the work that remains to be done, and through the Fuller Center, Millard Fuller’s remarkable entrepreneurial, fund-raising and motivational skills will continue to serve that labor of love.

It seems more important than ever to be involved in community outreach. This opportunity has provided many InterCallians the amazing feeling of being a part of a group that cares and makes a difference.

Cody Royster, trainer, says “Its not everyday that you get to lend a helping hand here in the Valley, with the Fuller Foundation you truly get to work with your peers and community to make a great difference in someone else’s life. Just to know that I was a part of that makes my life even better!”

Traci Crosby, Automated Manager, says “InterCall is very excited about the Fuller Project. We have come together as a company and volunteered to help with the housing situation in the Valley/West Point area. Employees are very anxious to help with the build. They are working very hard. It is great to see our InterCall family pull together and help.”

Thanks to each of you who helped make a difference!

To offer your assistance to this wonderful organization, go visit their website at www.fullercenter.org for more information.
Mission Statement The Fuller Center for Housing, faith driven and Christ centered, promotes collaborative and innovative partnerships with individuals and organizations in an unrelenting quest to provide adequate shelter for all people in need worldwide.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
Anthony Key, Call Execution supervisor says “It’s a joy working with such a great organization to help the people of our community.” Shown below is Anthony (at Right) working on the Fuller Project.

InterCall employee Brandon Williams assists in the painting duties
Kelly Pike & Marcia Bearden are on top of the world.

Peace, Love, & Fox (?) Grease-
cmh

Positioning Yourself to Prosper

2007-05-10T03:52:00.000-04:00

At church tonight, we followed the message of Bishop T.D. Jakes. Can I just say WOW? I mean, his message was just right ON the money for me. I'll right up the notes later on it.

I missed Idol, but hear that Lakisha got voted off. God bless her, but now the top three are the one's that actually belong there. I am pulling for Jordin and Blake of course!

I checked Mr. Buble's site tonight and he's going to be in the ATL on August 13th and 14th! Whoo hoo! I am going to start my journey in getting awesome tickets...I have some ideas :)

I shared the news with my team last evening that I'm moving on to marketing. It is bittersweet to me. I will miss them like crazy, but I know this move is the direction AND the blessing God has mapped out for me.

Won't you let Him bless YOU?

Oh, T.D. had an amazing correlation between Genesis 3:1-7 and 1 John 2:15...the ways of the world (read 1 John first).

Chicken and Crayons

2007-05-08T23:45:00.000-04:00

American Idol was so so tonight. I am still very impressed with Jordin and Blake. Blake is like the ultimate cool factor to that show and Jordin is just beautiful and graceful. After Jason asked how tall she was, I did a little research and found out that she was a plus size model for Torrid once and also toured with Michael W. Smith.

Anyhoo, I am eager to start the "new" endeavor. Hopefully the opportunity will come about soon :)

Jason complained again tonight about the abundance of light around our house. What a nerd. His new telescope is pretty cool though. Okay, now I am a nerd.

So, tonight at VWPC, the T.D. Jakes series kicks off! I am stoked! I know there are many lessons to be accumulated in the upcoming Wednesdays.

Oh, Michael Buble releases all of the U.S. tour dates tomorrow...yay! He better visit the ATL.

The pic of the beautiful amazing Aslyn Kate was taken last week as she went nighty night. I love that precious angel. Shane and Lisa are wonderful parents. I can't wait to see her again!

Chicken and Crayons-

cmh

Everything

2007-05-08T03:53:00.000-04:00

Can I just say that this song is precious to me? If I ever renew my vows....

Michael Buble – Everything lyrics

You're a falling star, You're the get away car.You're the line in the sand when I go too far.You're the swimming pool, on an August day.And You're the perfect thing to see.And you play your card, but it's kinda cute.Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.Cause you can see it when I look at you.[Chorus:]And in this crazy life, and through these crazy timesIt's you, it's you, You make me sing.You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,And you light me up, when you ring my bell.You're a mystery, you're from outer space,You're every minute of my everyday.And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,And you know that's what our love can do.[Chorus:]And in this crazy life, and through these crazy timesIt's you, it's you, You make me singYou're every line, you're every word, you're everything.So, La, La, La, La, La, La, LaSo, La, La, La, La, La, La, La[Chorus:]And in this crazy life, and through these crazy timesIt's you, it's you, You make me sing.You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.You're every song, and I sing along.Cause you're my everything.yeah, yeahSo, La, La, La, La, La, La, LaSo, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

Trees-n-Sleep

2007-05-08T03:28:00.000-04:00

So, I drove up today with five heavy duty trucks (& heavy duty men too, but very very scary) surrounding my driveway. I turned the ceiling fan on high, turned the air purifier on high, had the View on loud, etc to attempt to drown 'em out. It didn't work. They were, I thought, pruning our Spruce tree that had been interfering with the power lines. When I woke up, the tree was gone and our neighbors nice vegetation was gone as well! It looks a hot mess. I hope she complains. I'll miss that tree.

Jason is upset that the street lamp will more visible now and it will take away from his telescoping. What a nerd...but a cute one.

Okay, something that has always bugged me about blogging is that there will always be things you can't discuss honestly in the forum. So, how do I set this thing to private? Maybe I should just buy a journal?

And one more thing...I miss my good friend Anthony. I am itchin' for an Atlanta trip bad!

It's boring at work, so that explains the pic...oh, and the necklace was a gift from my dear friend Tay...I can radio him on it anytime...LOL...did I mention Michael Buble is awesome? I'm listening to him now...mmm love him.

Peace, Love, & Chicken Grease-

cmh

Spiderman Three

2007-05-07T02:04:00.002-04:00

Okay, I caught Spiderman 3 with Jason, Adam, & Kyle tonight. It was pretty good...just seemed really long. The end depressed me a bit. Also, Tobey Maguire as the "bad" Spiderman was just so funny to me...I'm hoping it was meant to be perceived as such.

So, Adam said he was going to "scout" before we went into the theatre. I had no idea what scouting was until tonight. Apparently, he doesn't pay for a large popcorn/drink. He finds used one's, washes the cup out, and goes to get free refills. Lord, I know it is wrong, but just watching him come in and out of the theatres made me almost pee down both legs. He got it! Crystal and Jason's movie treats=$11.00/Adam and Kyle's movie treats=FREE.

Oh, Jason went to Steve & Barry's tonight and got three shirts and two pairs of pants for like $49. Pretty cool...he's got his new work shirt on in the pic above...he's so handsome.

Did I mention that Michael Buble's new CD is the bomb diggity? It is.

Holla yo

Hello, Is It Me You're Lookin' For?

2007-05-07T02:04:00.001-04:00

This morning, Pastor Mark concluded the series of Living Large//: Remix with "The Buck Starts Here".

I will say that so far, through this series, I have accomplished the following small feats:
*Dropped internet coverage on Jason's Treo (He rarely ever uses it): Total Saved $19.99/month
*Called the cable company and got better rates on both Cable & Internet: Total Saved $10.00/month
*I have NOT stepped foot in my "favorite" store...though today I did drive by and say (like the incomparable Lionel Richie sings) "hello...is it me you're looking for"...lol
*Made a pact to up my tithing above 10%

This means that $29.99 will go on TOP of what I'm already paying to a certain unnamed credit card :) IF I figure correctly, by Christmas, it will be paid in FULL! Amen! This also means I can give more of myself in time and money to other's, especially to Go Global at church, etc. The $29.99 may not sound like a lot, but if I continue down the road of reevaluation, I know I can find more income.

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. Proverbs 6:6-8

Even the ant knows to store food----make what you've got last. Cut coupons, cut back on the unneeded items, etc.

What will we save for?
*Emergencies
*Purchases (why not buy Christmas gifts throughout the year?)
*Future

In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has. Proverbs 21:20

We have to realize that there are needs, wants, and desires. There is a difference. I need a new purse; I want just a cute bag; I desire a Chanel. Okay, so the purse is not really a need, but you get my drift.

Prioritize your dollars:

TITHE 10% to God.
Minimal living expenses.
Build the OH NO fund.
Pay off all debt (except house).
Build wealth.

Two ways to make money:

PEOPLE making money. ...If a man will not work, he shall not eat. 2 Thessalonians 3:10

MONEY making money. The man who had received the five talents went at once talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. Matthew 25:16

$5 a day invested at 12% over time:
5 years-$12,250
10 years-$34,505
20 years-$148,388
30 years-$524,244
40 years-$1,764,716
50 years-$5,858,750

MONEY plus TIME plus CONSISTENCY equals WEALTH.

...he who gathers money little by little makes it grow. Proverbs 13:11

Biblical Rules for Investing:
1. Don't try to get rich QUICK.
Sometimes the best investment is the one not made.
People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 1 Timothy 6:9

At 7.2% interest, your money will double in 10 years
At 10% interest, your money will double in 7.2 years.

2. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

Give portions to seven, yes to eight, for you do not know what disaster may come upon the land. Ecclesiastes 11:2

3. Don't invest in things you don't know.

By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures. Proverbs 24: 3,4

I love each one of you this day. I pray blessings on you and your family.

Love in Christ-
c

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",Not close enough to call you "God"So as I sit and think of words I can mentionto show my devotionI want to fall in love with YouMy heart beats for You

"Love Song For a Savior" Lyrics/Jars of Clay

Call Me Irresponsible

2007-05-04T03:04:00.000-04:00

So, I haven't blogged in like forever...literally. So, I have decided to begin updating this again as just another forum to get my thoughts/messages out.

Thanks Jason Forte for asking! Here's to bloggin' again :)

Tonight-

It's extremely slow at work tonight. For those of you who didn't know, I am the 3rd Shift Scheduling Supervisor at InterCall. It's been a challenge...I've been on the shift for 5 months. It's gone from being a challenge though to a true blessing honestly.

Went to Wal-Mart on my lunch break & got Michael Buble's new CD Call Me Irresponsible...it's GREAT! I love this guy. Can't wait to see him again in concert!

Look for my sermon notes to update on Sundays/Wednesdays.

Moocho Luvvo-

cmh

picture: me and my brothers cody & adam

2006-03-17T16:46:00.000-05:00

Taylor and I went to the Michael Buble concert at the Fox Theater in ATL on March 8th. It was absolutely incredible. I got some good shots of Michael and even filmed a few numbers. He is great! Needless to day, the night was perfecto!

2006-01-20T12:21:00.000-05:00

Opening Christmas gifts...

2006-01-19T23:19:00.000-05:00

I love 'em!
Jason, me, his dad Al, mom Janette, Ana, Maggie, Graham, & Cathy

2006-01-19T23:12:00.000-05:00

OMG...have I got the cutest nieces or WHAT? Ana (short for Anastasia) is the oldest; Maggie the youngest. We all went to the manatee park and the girls loved it. Jason's brother, Graham, is like SO Canadian it ain't EVEN funny.

2006-01-19T23:08:00.000-05:00

The best Granddaddy in the Entire World...and oh so handsome. Me and the ever-so-cute Blazze, my stepsister.

Christmas Eve at Dot and Granddaddy's

2006-01-19T22:58:00.000-05:00

Dot and G'Daddy's for Christmas Eve

I love them so much. Shoot honey, I ain't gon' lie to ya.

I love my daddy too even IF he thinks t-shirts with naked girls/wolves/etc combined with motorcyles is dead sexy AND appropriate for Christmas.

Good Times...

2006-01-19T22:49:00.000-05:00

Me, Elizabeth, and Susan eat dinner at the Zen House after Christmas; Jason & Micah were there too. It was so good seeing my good friends again...I miss our SNC nights!

I also ran over a doggie tonight on my way home before going to dinner...it was AWFUL to say the least. People need to learn responsibility when it comes to pets!

APICOECTOMY

2006-01-06T09:45:00.000-05:00

I had an apicoectomy yesterday afternoon. For those of you who don't know what it is...

An Apicoectomy, or Root-End Resection, is the removal of the root tip and the surrounding infected tissue of an abscessed tooth. This procedure may be necessary when inflammation and infection persists in the area around the root tip after root canal therapy or root canal retreatment.

Dr. Etherton is a great dentist...so hat's off to both doctor and his assistants. He has like the most awesome bedside manner ever. BUT, I am swollen like Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole and am sore too. Of course I was presribed some pain killers, but if you know me, I don't fair so well with those things. I did take 1/2 one last night and slept like a baby. This morning though, I was nauseous as ever. I dry heaved, gagged, then felt better about 5 minutes later.

So, bottom line: no pain, no gain. And, I did not hurt during the actual procedure, only felt nauseous and crazy a little from the gas. That stuff is crazy man!

I plan on taking some pics of my swollen face and 1/2 moon cut and stitches (5 in all) to post later hopefully. For the time being, I just want to sleep...maybe in about 6 hours, I will be able to.

2006-01-04T14:58:00.000-05:00

Our 1st Real Christmas Tree...weighed down with about 1,000 ornaments...LOL. Man was it ever messy taking it down...pine needles still stick me in the feet!

Beautiful Umeki

2006-01-04T14:45:00.000-05:00

What a hot mama...I pay tribute to the artists at the mall...hats off to MAC!

The Amazing Jason

2006-01-04T14:39:00.000-05:00

Jason continues to wow me in his skillset. It's as if I've discovered a new husband actually. While in Florida over the holiday, he actually purchased a hot pair of shoes (& picked them out himself) that are absolutely to die for. THEN, he bought a hot Pierre Cardin green/white striped shirt that I could just, well, be a thankful wife for!

One of my all time favorite desserts is the Cranberry Bliss Bar at Starbucks. Needless to say, they are 90% of the time out of them. Never to fear...Jason made some last night that are even BETTER than the original. AND, he made shrimp alfredo...yes, and not to mention Monday...oh Monday. To my girls, you know what I mean ;)

InterCall Christmas Party Pics

2006-01-04T14:21:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a marvelous Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. It's been in my heart this past year to add more entries, but I've been really busy with work, etc that I had no chances. So, here's some updated pics from the Christmas party. Needless to say it did not feel/seem the same without Archie being there.

Pic 1: Me and Jason
Pic 2: Me and Umeki Staples
Pic 3: Me and Jenny Batson.
Pic 4: Zunkieri, Brandee, me, & Umeki

Hard week...

2005-10-14T22:37:00.000-04:00

It's funny how at times you can make yourself feel at ease with pain in your life. You can either ignore it and keep it in, one day exploding in the faces of the ones you love the most. OR, you can let it out by other means. Just strange to me how I was on the phone w/ someone saying what a great week I was having and as soon as I disconnected, I realized that wasn't the case...I was sad, angry, emotional, etc all rolled into one tremendous BALL OF ENERGY! Sometimes it's just easier to say "I'm fine" than what you're really feeling inside.

I'm better now...at least I tell myself that.

I really miss Archie. The last two weeks, he's really been on my mind. It's hard to think of him as not earthly anymore. I felt his presence strongly on Saturday...it eased my mind. I love him. What's amazing is that even more so, I feel that he really is watching over us. It breaks my heart that I can't hear him or see him...the pictures make it a little more bearable, but it's just...

a hard week.

Girl's Night Out

2005-10-14T22:32:00.000-04:00

Fun times! Me and Tami went out to Bonzai and to do a little shopping! It was FUN! YUMMY sushi and not so yummy hats...

2005-08-29T15:30:00.000-04:00

Jason, me, Lisa, Tiger, and Shane. Shane is my first cousin; we grew up basically as brother and sister. I miss spending time with him. He and Lisa are expecing their first child and just found out it is a GIRL! I'm so happy for the both of them.

2005-08-23T14:29:00.000-04:00

Me and my amazing mother, Kathy. I love her so much. She's strong, intelligent, beautiful, and a wonderful mom.

2005-08-19T10:59:00.000-04:00

Wow, this week has been a tough one. I had a root canal on Tuesday which went pretty well considering it was a ROOT CANAL! Today, I can taste the medicine that Dr. Etherton packed in the tooth which is gross. It reminds me of when I had braces and I could taste the glue that they used...YUCKY!

I've dealt with some struggles this week that I conquered praise my God! How wonderful Jesus is to love us unconditionally and accept us as we are. I feel so unworthy of His love, attention, and forgiveness. I compare His love to a warm bankie (blanket) on a winter's day as you have nothing to do, but sit at home wrapped up sipping on some yummy hot coco (or Diet Coke).

2005-08-19T10:36:00.000-04:00

A very good friend of mine, Taylor.

Lately, I've thought how lucky we are to have friends in our lives. It seems to be the same old cliches, but think of how awful life would be without them.

I am thankful for so many people in my life. They are each there for a different purpose. I often think about how God hand-picks each person that comes in our lives to be there not only for a reason, but to teach us some things as well.

I love my friends.

2005-08-10T15:50:00.000-04:00

Tribute to Archie Coker

Arch, you never called me your stepdaughter; just your daughter

Arch, you loved me unconditionally
and you are so missed

Arch, you raised my brothers with love, laughter, ball, and poker

Arch, you loved my Mama and I thank you for everything

Arch, you taught me so many interesting things and made me laugh so many times

Arch, I love you forever just because

I love you~Sis

2005-08-10T11:58:00.000-04:00

I love my brothers! They are so handsome, talented, and outgoing.

2005-08-10T09:43:00.000-04:00

Wednesday

2005-08-10T09:36:00.000-04:00

So, yesterday went to the dentist and discovered that I need a root canal! That is not necessarily my cup of tea. However, I was semi-pleased that insurance pays 80%, so my part will be $184.00. I actually took 1/2 of one of the pain killers (Lorcet) yesterday at work and it did not settle too well w/ me. I just can't take pain pills...or drink...or do anything really illegal, which is all good. I thank God that I'm the person that I am in all honesty.

He has brought me through a lot, especially since losing my stepfather, Archie, three weeks ago...the presence is so strong and it makes me think HOW COULD ANYONE NOT BELIEVE IN GOD? I'm so proud of my brothers. My mama is wonderful too. I want to be there for them and be someone that they can lean on completely.

Well, I'm off to do my daily tasks and then some. Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

2005-08-08T16:24:00.000-04:00

First Entry (Tired)

2005-08-08T15:48:00.000-04:00

So, this is my 1st time "blogging" and I hope to keep this up-to-date as a constant reminder to myself of things I've been through & things I've yet to see.